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Entry Eleven: a summary of events from August 19 through August 22, 2004

Dearest Tour Diary,

I am reluctant to update as I have been immersed in Pullman's His Dark Materials, and taking time out from reading to update can be quite the drag. Ugh. Remember that reading is just as important as rocking.

Disney world was magical. Apparently there is more magic to it than the public sees. Last night, at a party in Georgia, I met a girl who used to be Minnie Mouse. WHOA! She was talking about this whole city underneath the Magic Kingdom. There are giant cafeterias and capitalists walking around with top hats and eating pork in their business attire. At night, it is really easy to get lost underneath Disney World, I was told. I imagine an endless series of underground caves for employees of the Mouse to spelunk and find buried treasure. There must be vaults to keep the massive amounts of money that this God-like cooperation sucks out of their magically shocked and awed patrons. I've even heard stories about people going underneath Disney World when they die. Sometimes, it is rumored, the souls of children and adults alike separate from their owner's bodies and travel to this magical underground and never return to their owners. For here, underneath the Cinderella castle, underneath the most magical illusion on this planet, is something that can never be witnessed above ground. There is some great and powerful work afoot in and around this Disney World. Some guess that it is angels or devils or gods or fallen warriors of olde that are responsible for this hotbed of ignorant happiness and bliss, but I am powerless to tell.

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Our mortal flesh basks in the supreme light issuing forth from the Magic Kingdom.

We ate at Pizza Hut that night. I hate their cheese. Florida has the worst cheese ever.

We couldn't bear to witness anymore of dreadful Orlando that day so we willingly lost consciousness and slept in a dreamless slumber.

We got out of Central Florida as soon as we could the next morning. It certainly was a relief to leave that madness. But alas, we were still in Florida. We ventured to the Gulf of Mexico in hopes of commandeering a ship and sailing as far from the Sunshine State as possible. But Lo! There was not such an opportunity, for only the bravest venture towards this wasteland of a pan handle, and they arethe toughest to fight.

So we decided to go swimming instead. The ocean was pretty awesome. There was some seaweed that looked like snot, so we spent hours in the water throwing that at each other. It was almost as fun as Disney World. So Florida, I must give you credit for your mucusy seaweed. It is truly an asset to your state.

Well we played a show in Panama City and it was pretty cool. Everyone there was ready to rock and they were sufficiently rocked. After the show there was a way cool party with really nice people. Florida may smell bad, but the people are quite friendly. I am very confused by the South. Is Florida even part of the South? Jeez.

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Trucker hats: and easy way to look like white trash.

After eating some pizza and playing their Steinway piano we left our nice, short lived hosts and traveled to FSU to party with Andrew's sister, Allison. We played her some songs about Florida, and it seemed to sit right with her.

I met some republicans that night and I threw some darts in their wall.

The next day, Allison showed us this awesome coffee shop, Black Dog Café, in Tallahassee and this awesome restauraunt where I ate a mushroom burrito. WOW! Then we saw the disturbingly shaped statehouse and we pulled a lorida. We got the "F" out of Florida.

Georgia smells so much nicer.

Last night, we rocked this totally hip house party in Columbus, Georgia. Those kids totally knew how to have a good time. They appreciated life and lived theirs to the fullest, much in the spirit of our and your friend, Andrew WK. By the end of the night, shirts were soaked with sweat and we had to leave the crowd wanting more. Cops were scared to come near Japonica Drive that night.

Later, we watched Wizard People, Dear Reader with the rockers from the show. It was as awesome as it always is. We also played our new Georgia friends some songs about their southern neighbor. They were met with agreement.

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This poster was totally huge!

Now we speed towards Tennessee and leave Florida far behind us. We weep for that state. And our tears flow off of our cheeks and out the window and onto the warm pavement. Some of the chemicals in our tears separate and go into the sky. Some stay forever on I-185. The stuff in the sky will soon return to earth, but we our chance of rejoining those molecules again are not hopeful. I only wish for hope.

Number of Shows: 41
Number of Songs we have about Florida: 8

-Joe 08.22.04