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Entry Two
July 10- July 18, 2006
Including Minnapolis, North Dakota, Montana, Vancouver,
and many cities in Washington state and more!

July 10, 2006
9:49am
Paul – Joe says he wants a copy of “Storm Front”, the Billy Joel album. I’m not sure this is such a good idea, but he really wants to listen to the “Downeaster Elexa.” A reward of one Harry and the Potters toothbrush will be given to anyone who brings Joe a copy (cassette or CDr is fine) of Storm Front. Maybe your mom owns this record?

10:00am
Joe – We just rolled out of Wisconsin Dells. We spent the night in a neighborhood full of water parks. The hotel next-door to us had a WATERSLIDE. But ours had WIFI. Does it make sense that free Internet wins over free waterslide? I think we need to get our priorities straight. I guess none of the water-parks were open when we rolled in last night, and we’re leaving early enough not to enjoy them, so Internet seems to have been the most practical choice. At any rate, though, Brian was terribly upset to leave. He LOVES WATER PARKS. There is nothing I have seen him more excited about. HE LIVES FOR WATERSLIDES. Brian shed a tear and waved goodbye to all the waterslides that we passed on our way out to the interstate.

3:00pm
Joe – Today we are playing the fist ever rock show at the new and beautiful Minneapolis Public Library. It is going to be baptized with a magic that will bless the architectural integrity of this library. From this day forward, the Minneapolis Public Library will be able to withstand not only the terrible tectonic earthquakes of the Midwest, and the horrible hurricanes from Lake Superior, but it will also brave the library shaking amps of any band that chooses to wield their flag of rock inside this mother of a library.

4:30pm
Joe – The auditorium at the library is packed here. We exceed fire capacity about 5,000 people ago. Well maybe not by that much. But it getting hot in here. Sweaty. And I am totally booing Draco and the Malfoys. The audience starts hissing at them. They take it as a compliment. Stupid.

8:00pm
Joe - Whoa. We just spent two hours talking to all the awesome people who stuck around after the show. What a show! What awesome people! Awesome hugs! Awesome high fives! People came from everywhere! It’s so awesome to meet people so dedicated that they drive for hours on end so that they can party the way that they want to party. And the way they want to party is AT THE LIBRARY!

8:30pm
Joe – Some awesome people printed out directions to a highly recommended hot dog stand, but upon our arrival we discovered it was closed! Apparently it is too late for hot dogs in Minneapolis. City of Minneapolis, get on this. Fix this problem. Hot Dogs need to be available ON DEMAND. And not cheap hotdogs. We want GOOD ONES. This is America. Home of the Hot Dog. The Great American past time. We are Americans, and we are entitled to our right to eat them.

11:00pm
Joe – There is no room at the Inn. No room at two of the Inns we’ve stopped at. We need a manger to house The Book Rock Mobile. Tomorrow it is about to give birth to the one thing destined to defeat the Death Eaters that plague the plains of North Dakota. It needs to rest tonight. We won’t stop until we can rest with it. We travel on.

11:10pm
Joe - Sweet. This place has one room left. It is ours. I buy an ice cream form a vending machine on our way to the room. ZZZZZZZzzzzzz.

July 11, 2006
9:00am
Paul - We awake eager to see how the day’s events unfold because today is our first show in North Dakota! We are totally psyched! North Dakota is one of the few states we’ve never been to. It won’t know what hit it.

2:00 pm
Joe – We are in Fargo! We are eating sandwiches at Barb’s Deli! Barb rules! She is so nice! She made us awesome sandwiches and tuna salads. Barb gets a gold star.

Photo by Ashton Kulesa

5:00pm
Joe – This library rules. They are having us play in the garage, just like WEEZER! This library garage rules. It’s got all sorts of flammable stuff in it. It also has a TON of windshield washer fluid. We could probably wash our windows the whole show and refill at the end and they wouldn’t notice a drop was missing. We’re too busy partying hard with the great Fargonians to worry about getting the bugs off of our windshield. We have to keep our priorities straight. Here is our general order of business: Rocking. Eating. Sleeping. Hugs. Pizza. Bug Removal.

Photo by Ashton Kulesa

8:30pm
Joe – We’re on the highway. We just passed the “Gobble Stop Turkey Truck,” “What could be in there?” we wonder. I imagine the driver, a man, who has become half turkey after working 30 years as an employee of Gobble Stop Enterprises. He gobbles and waves his winged arm to us as we pass. Maybe he is really nice and invites us over for a Gobble Stop. And during the cultural Gobble Stop he shows us the hardship that it is to be half turkey and half man at the same time. He says “It is gobble gobble hard to be gobble gobble [something].” I try my best to sympathize with him, but I have no idea what idea he is talking about. We are separated by our inability to communicate with each other. I am sad.

July 12, 2006
9:00am
Joe – We stayed last night in Bismark, so that we could get a head start on our long journey to Billings. The only breakfast we could find in Bismark was the Perkins Family Restaurant. Giant pancakes covered in corn syrup flowed down my esophagus, resulting in a pancake ache through my inner torso. It was equivalent to being pierced by an arrow with pancakes on it, you know, shish kebob style.

11:00am
Joe – This is exciting. Look at all these refineries. They are engineering feats of the human race. Maybe it is not the biggest engineering feat. I guess it’s not as impressive as a space station or a time machine, but it looks really cool. Especially at night. It’s daytime now, but last night they looked totally awesome driving by all lit up with the glow of industry! Things are happening in there that take the gifts of mother earth and churn them into a refined substance for the consumption of the ever busying human race. Is it a monster? No! Anything but that! It is our child! And we shall care for it! We gave birth to Industry and we will continue to foster it until we grow old one day and Industry will care for us, hopefully not by neglecting us and put us in a crummy nursing home.

7:53pm
Paul – The kids of Billings, Montana are so hungry for rock that at then end of our set, when the bubble machines start cranking, the little ones eagerly stick their open mouths in front hoping for nourishment. Yes children! Eat! Consume these bubbles and you too may grow up to become a formidable opponent of THE MAN. Drink from the soapy liquid of wizard rock and you too shall be filled with buoyancy that will enable you to rise above your foes and smile down upon them in victory.

7:54pm
Joe – We are playing “The Weapon” on the third story of the Billings Public Library. There are kids doing somersaults. Old ladies are dancing. There are kids eating bubbles. Oh goodness. This ten-year-old girl keeps sticking her tongue out in front of the bubble machine. She looks disgusted but she keeps going back for more bubbles. Her friends join her bubble feast. This is bad. Kids!! Don’t eat the Bubbles! You’ll get a stomachache. You could get bubble poisoning. You don’t want that. Oh God. Get away form the bubble machine. They don’t belong in your mouth. What if your parents yell at us? Wait why would they yell at us? They should yell at you if they are good parents. You’re the one who’s eating bubbles. Maybe not “yell”, but at least have a nice serious talk about the dangers of eating glycerin, soap, and water.

July 13, 2006
12:00pm
Joe – We needed gas so we just pulled off the interstate. Hey! This is the place where we camped out last year on our summer tour. There’s this awesome bakery here in the middle of Montana. Montana Wheat Company makes some awesome cinnamon rolls. We also get some sandwiches, which have a lot of mayonnaise on them. But that is ok. We have road hunger, and it must be satiated. I am glad this place exists. I like Big Sky Country. Check out how big the sky is. Wow. There is so much of it. Probably more than I’ll ever see anywhere else….combined.

3:15pm
Everyone in the van agrees: Michael Gambon must go. The movie version of Dumbledore sucks. He’s not up to the task. Certainly not all the blame should fall on his shoulders. Bad directing is a big problem too. The Dumbledore from “Goblet” was so off base that I wonder if anyone involved in this movie has even read the books and not just the screen adaptation. And it’s only going to get worse. Dumbledore has an even bigger role in OOTP. Something must be done about this soon! They’ve probably already started filming this pile, right? We must take action!

We call Melissa from the Leaky Cauldron. She made the mistake of giving one of the Malfoys her business card. We will abuse this privilege. Surely she must have some connections. Maybe we can start a petition or something. No answer. We leave an urgent message. Why is there so much apathy towards this! How can you all just sit back and let this guy ruin these movies! We have a solution! CHRISTOPHER LLOYD! I know we’re not professional Hollywood casting directors, and we know that Christopher Lloyd is not British, but seriously, how come no one else has seen that this is the perfect fit. There is a savior for OOTP. His name is Christopher Lloyd. Let’s make this happen!

6:20pm
Paul – Lisa, who would normally drive 5 hours to Seattle to see us, can relax in the comfort of her own hometown of Spokane because tonight, the wizard rock finally visits eastern Washington. As a reward for our visit, she presents us with a most excellent 5-page book report on “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.” I’m not sure I agree with all her conclusions, but it was definitely a well-thought-out report. In turn, we reward her with a few dental products, and then we reward the rest of her community with a flavorful taste of wizardly triumph courtesy of two time-traveling boy wizards. What is that flavor, you ask? It is the moon, covered in hot fudge and whipped cream. It is clouds filled with custard. It is a giant pitcher of sunset lemonade. Our victory is delicious.

8:00pm
Joe – I can’t believe it. Kids are trying to eat the bubbles again! Maybe it is not so bad. I guess no one is going to get hurt to bad. My parents always said, “The dose makes the poison.” I guess you’ll be okay kids if you eat just one bubble. Just don’t eat forty bubbles. Keep it in the single digits. I should probably try it out just to be safe first. The next time we use these bubble machines I’m going to see how these bubbles settle in my stomach.

11:15pm
Joe – We’re doing an interview with some people doing a documentary about Wizard Rock bands, but I’m mostly thinking about pizza. I can’t focus. I’m blowing this interview. I want pizza.

July 14, 2006
4:05pm
Paul – The Seattle Public Library arises like a glacier from the hilly womb of downtown Seattle. It is an ice mountain of knowledge and technology. Tonight, it will be mercilessly rocked by wizards.

4:20pm
Joe – We met up with Brooke at the bottom of the skyscraper she works in. We eat awesome discounted food, since it was happy hour. It’s hard not be happy when you are eating though. Do you know of anyone that cries while they eat? I didn’t think so.

6:32pm
Paul – We are soundchecking. I am a little awestruck at by our accommodations for the evening. No rock club could ever compare to this building. We are playing on Level 3, just in front of the escalators, under a tremendous canopy of UV resistant glass. It is our very own Fortress of Solitude. But we have no use for isolation. We want all of Seattle here tonight. We want everyone to witness the beauty of wizards and muggles rocking together in this architectural triumph.

Photo by Joshua Bis

July 15, 2006
10:45am
Paul – Holy smokes! We’re at the Canadian border and we’re being quizzed by immigration because we are a band. We’re telling the immigration guy about how we’re playing at the library because all our songs are about books and he actually says, “Holy smokes.” It was awesome! They let us slide though despite Joe’s rather unkempt hair.

12:10pm
Joe – We’re trying to find some Canadian money so that we can feed this parking meter. While we are about to bust open our van and try to sell some strangers CDs in exchange for Canadian coins, Panhandeler Pete. “That’s what the folks round here call me,” he says. He is asking for money. We explain to him that we are in a similar situation, us having no Canadian coins. He seems to sympathize with us and begins telling us the long exploits of his hobo life. I wasn’t really listening very hard but I think it went something like this: He was born in an old gold digging post in the Yukon. While transporting a dogsled full of reindeer sausage to Inuvik he found himself lost in a blinding Canadian blizzard. Disoriented for days, he clung to life by rationing his sausage cargo. Days turned to weeks and winter turned from frigid to an almost absolute zero. Frozen in time until spring thawed him Pete lay is suspended animation. After stumbling upon a muddy Yukon highway, Pete was able to hitchhike his way to Vancouver, where he was quickly introduced to the methods of panhandling. He told us it was a lot like panning for gold but except dipping your pan into an icy river, you just go into a sea of people and try to talk the money out of their pockets.

1:57pm
Joe – I make an announcement over the library PA system explaining to all library patrons, that they must evacuate the library to the square outside, where we are playing, because the library is in serious danger of being destroyed by the power of love and rock combined.

3:00pm
Joe – We are rocking. The library is still holding up. It is good to be safe though. I am glad we got all those people out.

5:45pm
Paul – We are walking around looking for ice cream. A meter maid directs us around the corner and we discover “Death by Chocolate,” which is some sort of fancy dessert place. We drop $50 Canadian on some pre-dinner dessert. But damn, it was good. I had some sort of post-modern banana split. When we go out for ice cream, we go out in style.

9:30pm
Joe – We stop in Bellingham to grab some dinner with our friends, Brooke and Mike. Hungry from the stress of crossing international borders we stuffed our faces with Indian Food. As we are leaving they had some birdseed we can eat that tasted like licorice. It tastes good but it does not feel like I should swallow a whole bunch of these at once. I spit them out in a beautiful arc.

July 16, 2006
10:30am
Paul – Shortly before we left on tour, some awesome girls sent us a gift certificate to one of Seattle’s finer breakfast institutions, Top Pot Doughnuts. We cashed that sucker in this morning for a free dozen, and brought them back to Brooke and Mike’s house for a fantastic feeding frenzy/tasting party where 7 of us gathered around the box and started splitting up the doughnuts into little pieces so we could all get some tastes of the different styles of awesomeness. The clear winner was the chocolate covered old fashioned, but everyone was also impressed by the chai donut.

11:50am
Joe – We are on a bridge. All the cars have stopped. Everyone is getting out of their cars. Uh oh. I’ve never seen this happen before. What happened? Is this bridge suddenly closed? Why would they let us on it if that were the case? Are people going to start jumping off the bridge and go swimming? Are we in danger? Is the bridge exploding? No the bridge is not exploding. We are still on it. The cars in front of us are not swooping down in to the bottomless abyss of Lake Washington. Every car is turning off its engine. It looks like we might be here for a while. At least we have a nice view of Mount Rainier.

12:00 pm
Joe – We are on a drawbridge! It makes total sense. People are so panicky. There was no need to get out of our cars and start looking over the bridge with wide open mouths, like we dropped our false teeth down there. Let’s get to this show. Drawbridges are for suckers.

1:25pm
Paul – We are in a mall. I have been instructed by people who work for the mall that if I refer to the mall from stage, I should call it “Bellevue Crossroads.” I have been asked not to call it “the Bellevue Mall” or “Crossroads Mall” or anything like that. Apparently this is not a mall! It totally looks just like a mall though!

2:20pm
Paul - The Malfoys are playing. Just a few stores down from the stage, there is a sneaker store. And look, they have my sneakers! I’m getting new sneakers! I have been dying for new sneakers. In fact, I’d been trying to get them for months, but haven’t had time. How convenient that now I should find myself at such a “Crossroads” where sneaker stores and department stores and food courts and wizard rock all meet at once. Today is a happy day.

Photo by Kristina and Brittany's friend

4:04pm
Joe – I want sneakers too. I am going to get some.

8:00pm
Joe - We are at 826 Seattle, a space travel supply shop. We could really use some radiation shielding. I’m glad we’re playing here. This shop also doubles as a young writers workshop. Since I bought some new sneakers today, I don’t need my old ones to take up space in the van. So I’ve decided to auction them off, as charity for 826 Seattle. After a heated live auction between a young man in a yellow cap and a heart print skirted woman my shoe goes for $40. Before the yellow capped man made his final offer I impressed upon him, that this was only ONE shoe and that it had been used, and it was not his size. He went through with his deal. He paid in cash and I ran it over to the store managers. I also gave them my other shoe, with instructions to put it up for purchase, with a label “$1000 or best offer.” 100% of the purchaser’s money will go to 826 Seattle.

8:55pm
Paul – Tonight it has been officially established that the first song of a Harry and the Potters show is also the Most Dangerous Song! Be warned. Last November in Oklahoma, I toppled half a drum kit and severed Joe’s microphone cable with a cymbal stand. In March, we had the infamous guitar-face collision in which the head of my guitar forcibly moved one of Joe’s teeth a few millimeters from its preferred position. It was bloody.

Tonight, we graced the crowd at 826 Seattle with an on-stage electrocution! Yes, sometimes it’s hard to believe that this incredible entertainment can all be had for a measly $5. While setting up our soundsystem, we discovered that only one side of the performance space is grounded. We make the Malfoys keep touching stuff to test it out and after they get shocked a bunch (and we laugh a bunch), we decide to plug everything into the other side of the room. No problem. Everything runs smoothly until I climb up onto a couch on the ungrounded side of the room and innocently lay my hand upon the light switch as I prepare to deliver the 2nd verse of “Voldemort Can’t Stop the Rock.”

There is a huge white light and I’m relatively certain that sparks have just shot out of my ears. Whoa! I’m now on the floor, leaning on a nice concertgoer for support. Am I OK? I’m not dead apparently. I guess I’m OK. I’m still standing. I pick up the mic. Back to the song. Wow. I feel like that kid from “Jurassic Park” getting shocked off the 10,000 volt T-Rex fence. My hair probably looks awesome. I can’t tell if anyone in the crowd has noticed if I’ve been electrocuted. They look a little terrified. Do they normally look this terrified?

8:55pm
Joe – Paul has stopped singing and disappeared form my view. He was just on a chair close to the wall doing some crazy spiderman moves and now he’s gone. Voice, body, and everything. Oh wait there he is! Some kids are holding him up. This is weird. Paul falls a lot when he’s climbing over stuff, but usually he manages to keep singing and bounces back up. I hope he is ok. Oh he’s singing again. He’s alive. That’s good. Let’s rock.

Photo by Charlotte

July 17, 2006
10:00am
Paul – Someone has sent us a video clip of my electrocution. It doesn’t look nearly as amazing as it seemed in my head. Mostly it’s just me jumping around all silly (which is normal), and then sort of stepping down from the couch and getting lost in the crowd. If there were some sort of amazing lightning bolts shooting out of my head then they were not captured by this camera. Can muggle cameras capture such magical moments? It appears not. This is all they got (It happens at 1:55 - thanks SevenSickles).

5:40pm
Joe – We are playing at the Hall in the Woods tonight in Olympia! I love playing in Olympia! This place is beautiful! They rigged up a broomstick so that it hangs from the ceiling and people can ride it. There are even a bunch of roller skates out for people to skate around during the show! Way cool! This show is going to be super special. Tonight is the Triwizard Rock Tournament. Three bands are going to be selected to perform from the Goblet of Rock, which is in fact made of stone. I really hope our band is selected.

7:10pm
Joe – The time has come for the three bands to be selected. Headmistress Maxine will draw the names from the Goblet. First will be Draco and the Malfoys. They are received with a nasty set of boos and hisses from the virtuous audience. Next will be Arrington Dionysus who, seems to have claimed that his daughter entered him in without his consent. After that will be the third and final rock champion… Jason Anderson! But wait! The Goblet is speaking to Maxine! It demands that there be one final contestant in this tournament. Yes! Indeed! The Fourth Triwizard Rock Champion is destined to be Harry and the Potters! Fate strikes again! The prophecy is true. We were born to rock.

7:45pm
Paul – We toured with our friend Jason Anderson back in May. At the time, he had never read the Potter books, but after coming off tour, we had apparently inspired him. He tore through them pretty quick and this is the first time we’ve seen him since then. He’s pretty amped up. He really drags the Malfoys through the mud during their set with all sorts of fantastic heckling. At one point, their CD player skips and he yells out, “Who’s your drummer? Some squib?”

10:40pm
Joe – The Parselmouths came to the show. They are doing a guerilla show outside the Hall now that we are done playing. I go to check and see what this is all about. Ever since the songs on their voicemail were deleted I’ve been itching to hear “What kind of name is Hermione?” and “My Daddy’s Tattoo.” Yeah. The fidelity of the songs is a lot better in person than over the phone. Pretty awesome. If I was into evil things I might say I love this band. But evil is bad.

Late at night. am or pm? I don’t know.
Joe – We get to stay at Maxine’s house! She has food! We eat all of her pizza and a bunch of eggs and drink a lot of her water and sleep in her basement. Oh yeah, but before we go to sleep, Paul and I play an excited game of Apples to Apples with Maxine and Eli. I totally dominate and rule the school in this game. I never played before tonight. I think I’m hooked.

July 18, 2006
11:00am
Joe – Onyx offered to cook us an awesome breakfast! We are totally eating awesome omelets and pancakes. I’m decorating Onyx’s house with some Hogwarts magnets we got in a Canadain gift package the other day.

11:30am
Paul – Yes! Hooray for Onyx! And for Keylee who also brought over some awesome food. We talk about how you can make the world a better place by inviting people over for breakfast. It is true! We feel enlightened and ready to change the world.

3:30pm
Paul – We’re doing laundry. I take charge of the lunch situation and go to a grocery store. They have a lovely cheese selection, so I grab an 1/8 lb of Le Explorateur, which is a fine, French triple crème. All tourmates are impressed by my refined palate and excellent taste. They can hardly believe they are eating so luxuriously in a laundromat parking lot!

8:00pm
Joe – Oh goodness. It is warm in here. Everyone has piled into this relatively small room we are playing at in the Tacoma Library. We have already exceeded fire capacity on the room. One of the Librarians is telling me they’ll let more people in, but there seems to be a general concern that a fire may be started just by the collective body heat of everyone rocking here in the library.

11:15pm
Paul – Wow. That was an absolute monster of a library rock show. I can’t believe we’re still here. This is definitely the latest I’ve ever been in a library. It was total craziness. Little kids jumping on stage during “the Weapon!” Other kids accidentally unplugging all our equipment because the place was so packed that they had to stand behind the stage and they just couldn’t help from jumping up and down on the power cords. I even broke double strings during “Song for the Death Eaters.” It was insane! Before our visit, some people had told us about the “Tacoma Aroma,” but we decided if Tacoma smells like anything, then it is the Smell of Rock. Hurrah!

Photo by Charlotte